Friday, October 14, 2016

It's here, once again

Lately, I had chatted with a friend.
Let's call him T here.
This is a virtual friend who lives more than 5000 km away from where I am. We have known each other for several months, and have mutual feelings

So, from the last conversation we had, I got to know him slightly better. However, there was one personal thing he asked to which I had answered, and felt judged. Even though knowing that he wouldn't care much (based on his horoscope), but at some point, from his respond, it had summed up what kind of person he is. I am not saying that i judged him too, but I would consider this a deduction (no, of course I am not a detective or psychologist). Like, you know, we can tell a lot about someone from what he or she laughs at. Same concept.

I feel like what he said is not what ladies would like to hear (including myself). I could feel that his question was driving us apart, and I know that somehow I can't develop feelings for T anymore. Even though I am aware of this situation, but his respond on my answer has stuck on my mind for days. And I still feel judged (even though no one is judging), and I started having self-doubt and I have become so conscious of myself. It wasn't a big deal to me, but now, I am feeling kind of down all over because of this person.

Yes, he has no control over my life, my mind, my everything. But, I can't help it. I seek for comfort from others and hoping that whatever stuck on my mind will be gone very soon.





-vivian-

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