Friday, May 25, 2012

Imperfection

Who usually scolds, gets mad, or gets angry at you? For me, it has always been my family members. Well when someone who is not blood-related to me does that to me, of course I get frustrated and grumble over stuff that happened. Even friends, if they scold me, sometimes I'd get angry over them (and maybe silently dislike them? Bahaha..) or defends myself back. Half of the time, I'll answer something bad back at people, and the other half, I keep silent.

The silence seems to be killing myself, and I found myself being tortured mentally :( Well..when I fail to do something "this person" wants me to do, (s)he scolds me and to some extent, I feel like I am being emotionally abused or enslaved. I talked to "this person" nicely then, and did show some improvement. However, things are not always what we want it to be, right? I feel as if I cannot do things I want to do. Not even eat or buy things, as if I am being controlled. *Thinking this back makes me sad now : / * When I do things for "this person", it has to be 100% and I can hardly ask how do I do it perfectly. Simply because "this person" says it is a common sense stuff. So when I do things (s)he wants according to my thinking or way(if you call it), and turns out that it has gone out of her/his expectation, I ended up being scolded. Well, it does make me feel low. And oh yes, even my pace of walking is a major problem for "this person".

I don't know who to talk to at the moment, so I decided to blog this. Now I do feel slightly better. Most of the things I do never please "this person"...






-vivian-

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